Fact: When your personality achieves a certain level of quirkiness, your body will get jealous and follow suit.
Evidence: The evidence gathered from my personal experience is threefold.
1. the purple fingernails cause by sickness and/or emotional trauma
2. the way I get carrot in my nose every time I eat it without fail.
3. A Recently Discovered Addition: My left earlobe has suddenly decided to throw a fit and become allergic to all the earrings I own. My right earlobe remains unaffected.
Maybe I will just keep some hair over the left ear and wear one earring.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
These are the days
when I can't tell if I am incandescently happy or freaking out of my skin.
when I eat airborne like candy because I am getting sick again.
when I miss Nate so much I contemplate flying to Argentina, only not cause there are rules about that.
when I decide I want to be five years old and redo my life. I have no regrets prior to five years old.
when I laugh really hard about nothing and look like a dork.
when I have towel throwing contests for money at work. Collin now owes me fifty whole cents.
when I wonder, completely seriously, If I could have an undiagnosed mental illness.
( you know, on top of the diagnosed one.)
These are the days that make my dad say I have more mood swings than a grandfather clock.
when I eat airborne like candy because I am getting sick again.
when I miss Nate so much I contemplate flying to Argentina, only not cause there are rules about that.
when I decide I want to be five years old and redo my life. I have no regrets prior to five years old.
when I laugh really hard about nothing and look like a dork.
when I have towel throwing contests for money at work. Collin now owes me fifty whole cents.
when I wonder, completely seriously, If I could have an undiagnosed mental illness.
( you know, on top of the diagnosed one.)
These are the days that make my dad say I have more mood swings than a grandfather clock.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Memory lane is lovely this time of year, all that snow!
So today, I rediscovered the power of reminiscing. Sometimes, reminiscing has actual magic powers that make old beloved memories come back and relive themselves. For example:
This morning, I was straightening the jungle of my hair when I missed the hair and got my hand. Little did I know that this would spur a whole chain of events that made me miss freshman year a whole heap.
It started when I got done with geology and my hand was seriously throbbing and showing some nasty red marks, so I did the only thing I could think of to make it feel better. I headed to the quikstop to buy something cold to hold on it. (read: excuse to drink diet coke) And on the way down the hall in the TSC, I got distracted by the booksale going on. (surprise, surprise!). And while I was reading this book on how the Irish saved civilization during the dark ages which seemed pretty fascinating to me, my dear old roommate Morgan walked past and called to me! The Joy! I miss that woman. Reminiscing ensued. We talked about Sarah being a ninja who throws people in bathtubs or tackles people in order to mush cupcakes in their face and smear frosting on their faces.
And then I stopped being distracted and finished my task of buying diet coke and decided that I would go kill the half hour before my lab in my old study spot outside the auditorium. So there I was, reading my textbook and holding a cold beverage on my burns when who should walk up behind me but Shanathan! More reminiscing ensued. We talked about smuggling Cd's out of the apartment and getting distracted by star wars posters in class.
So much good stuff! I miss last year, and pineview, and my old college family. And in honor of a day of accidental reminiscing, I came home and read some old blog posts that I never actually published about the old life at pineview. And in honor of a year of wonderful, I am posting this old one. Post within a post! It's happening!
Ahem.
The Family
Family of Affinity: a group of people who identify themselves as a family group without any blood connection. Here at college, they are everywhere. And here is what I got out of mine, specifically:
1. You can cobble together a family just about anywhere. When the family is assembled, drawing crayon family portraits and hanging them on your fridge is recommended, as is family dinner.
2. Even though Shane is apparently the Alpha male (because he is in the middle of the family portrait, and also the tallest), the real ruler is the Alpha female. The hard part is figuring out who gets to be the alpha female that particular month, if you know what I mean.
3. Family bonding is best enhanced through card games, specifically Munchkin. This game is most interesting when everybody switches roles. Like last time, when Katie was "The Spencer" (the expert who always wins)and I was "The Shane" (the poor sap who gets every high monster and no bonus cards, ever).
4. Spencer is the smartest, and also the spiritual giant. He leads (purely speculative, non-doctrinal) discussions on evolution, cloning and dinosaurs, using the scriptures.He is also the enabler, because he brought us a whole bag of snickers once.
5. Katie is the glue who holds our family together. She is the queen bee, the good girlfriend, and the best friend. We call her Mrs. President. She is the spoke in the wheel, the driver in the car, the pilot to our spaceship, and also the relationship guidance counselor.
6. Morgan is the masochistic overachiever in our family. She makes set models and threatens Shane with death when he gets too close with the nerf gun.
7. Sarah is the devil on everybody's shoulder. She wears killer purple stilletos and does martial arts in the living room. She makes some killer food items, and cannot open the pan spray by herself.
8. Ruthie is the angel on everybody's shoulder. She is the good one who does homework and promotes health and happiness all around.
9. Shane is the guy who helps our apartment pass math classes including but not limited to 900, 1010, and 1050. He is the leader of all the food runs. He rules Taco Tuesday and the midnight burrito tradition, and also papusa. He sings hymns in Spanish. We get mad at him when he knocks.
10. I am the opener, specifically the opener of the pan spray and the dishwasher soap packets. I am the ocd mailbox checker, the person who steals everybody else's quirks and phrases, and the one who loves Friends a lot more than is healthy. (Seeing as how we are an apartment full of girls, there has to be one.)
We live here like a bunch of sibling with no parents. The fact I have known most of my roommates since I was twelve also contributes to the odd feeling that I am living inside a constant sleepover. Life can't get better!
Here I am a year later, and I still agree with myself. That is rare, folks.
This morning, I was straightening the jungle of my hair when I missed the hair and got my hand. Little did I know that this would spur a whole chain of events that made me miss freshman year a whole heap.
It started when I got done with geology and my hand was seriously throbbing and showing some nasty red marks, so I did the only thing I could think of to make it feel better. I headed to the quikstop to buy something cold to hold on it. (read: excuse to drink diet coke) And on the way down the hall in the TSC, I got distracted by the booksale going on. (surprise, surprise!). And while I was reading this book on how the Irish saved civilization during the dark ages which seemed pretty fascinating to me, my dear old roommate Morgan walked past and called to me! The Joy! I miss that woman. Reminiscing ensued. We talked about Sarah being a ninja who throws people in bathtubs or tackles people in order to mush cupcakes in their face and smear frosting on their faces.
And then I stopped being distracted and finished my task of buying diet coke and decided that I would go kill the half hour before my lab in my old study spot outside the auditorium. So there I was, reading my textbook and holding a cold beverage on my burns when who should walk up behind me but Shanathan! More reminiscing ensued. We talked about smuggling Cd's out of the apartment and getting distracted by star wars posters in class.
So much good stuff! I miss last year, and pineview, and my old college family. And in honor of a day of accidental reminiscing, I came home and read some old blog posts that I never actually published about the old life at pineview. And in honor of a year of wonderful, I am posting this old one. Post within a post! It's happening!
Ahem.
The Family
Family of Affinity: a group of people who identify themselves as a family group without any blood connection. Here at college, they are everywhere. And here is what I got out of mine, specifically:
1. You can cobble together a family just about anywhere. When the family is assembled, drawing crayon family portraits and hanging them on your fridge is recommended, as is family dinner.
2. Even though Shane is apparently the Alpha male (because he is in the middle of the family portrait, and also the tallest), the real ruler is the Alpha female. The hard part is figuring out who gets to be the alpha female that particular month, if you know what I mean.
3. Family bonding is best enhanced through card games, specifically Munchkin. This game is most interesting when everybody switches roles. Like last time, when Katie was "The Spencer" (the expert who always wins)and I was "The Shane" (the poor sap who gets every high monster and no bonus cards, ever).
4. Spencer is the smartest, and also the spiritual giant. He leads (purely speculative, non-doctrinal) discussions on evolution, cloning and dinosaurs, using the scriptures.He is also the enabler, because he brought us a whole bag of snickers once.
5. Katie is the glue who holds our family together. She is the queen bee, the good girlfriend, and the best friend. We call her Mrs. President. She is the spoke in the wheel, the driver in the car, the pilot to our spaceship, and also the relationship guidance counselor.
6. Morgan is the masochistic overachiever in our family. She makes set models and threatens Shane with death when he gets too close with the nerf gun.
7. Sarah is the devil on everybody's shoulder. She wears killer purple stilletos and does martial arts in the living room. She makes some killer food items, and cannot open the pan spray by herself.
8. Ruthie is the angel on everybody's shoulder. She is the good one who does homework and promotes health and happiness all around.
9. Shane is the guy who helps our apartment pass math classes including but not limited to 900, 1010, and 1050. He is the leader of all the food runs. He rules Taco Tuesday and the midnight burrito tradition, and also papusa. He sings hymns in Spanish. We get mad at him when he knocks.
10. I am the opener, specifically the opener of the pan spray and the dishwasher soap packets. I am the ocd mailbox checker, the person who steals everybody else's quirks and phrases, and the one who loves Friends a lot more than is healthy. (Seeing as how we are an apartment full of girls, there has to be one.)
We live here like a bunch of sibling with no parents. The fact I have known most of my roommates since I was twelve also contributes to the odd feeling that I am living inside a constant sleepover. Life can't get better!
Here I am a year later, and I still agree with myself. That is rare, folks.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Being a Big Kid
is sometimes more difficult than I had anticipated.
Kids complain about limited choices. I did too. And then I realized that life is more daunting when there are no limited choices. As described in my emotional outburst to my parents the other day:
" Young Women's has messed me up for life! You know why? Cause now I have a testimony of accountability and personal choice and that means I have to pick something to do with my life and do it!"
Oh High School. Such a balance between freedom and safety nets will never ever exist again. sigh.
Kids complain about limited choices. I did too. And then I realized that life is more daunting when there are no limited choices. As described in my emotional outburst to my parents the other day:
" Young Women's has messed me up for life! You know why? Cause now I have a testimony of accountability and personal choice and that means I have to pick something to do with my life and do it!"
Oh High School. Such a balance between freedom and safety nets will never ever exist again. sigh.
Shameless Blog Promotion
It's not what you think. I am promoting someone else's blog.
Ahem. My friend Brogan blogs. Which you should all know because there's a link to his blog down there on the right along with all those other people I blogstalk. He recently extended a challenge to his reader base to recruit more followers. I am, therefore, asking all of you people who read this to go read his too, and maybe click on the follow button, if only to help me rise to the challenge. Also, because I actually really like his writing. It is interesting and thought provoking and it spurs hour long conversations about societal perceptions of mental illness. You know, exciting stuff like that.
Sooo....feast.
Ahem. My friend Brogan blogs. Which you should all know because there's a link to his blog down there on the right along with all those other people I blogstalk. He recently extended a challenge to his reader base to recruit more followers. I am, therefore, asking all of you people who read this to go read his too, and maybe click on the follow button, if only to help me rise to the challenge. Also, because I actually really like his writing. It is interesting and thought provoking and it spurs hour long conversations about societal perceptions of mental illness. You know, exciting stuff like that.
Sooo....feast.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Perks to the Carolinas
1. I will live with my family, and that means that the roommate slump won't happen. For those of you unfamiliar with the roommate slump, it is this phenomenon where every February comes a point when "we all start hating each other", according to my old roommate Katie. This hasn't happened this year exactly; we don't hate each other. We have just started using some pretty passive aggressive tactics to further our own apartment agendas. For example: the newly posted extremely polite sign in the kitchen about putting away your dishes and wiping the cupboards and the fishing to find out whose rotten applesauce that was. ( just throw it away.)
2. I will have children to make my soul happy. As frustrating as it can sometimes be, even a screaming child fighting to get away from me is like soul medicine. Emma is somehow just as wonderful when she is shrieking at you while you try to wipe the food out of her eyebrows as she is when she does her little head bob and plays hide and seek. Also, sleepovers in the castle bed. Nuff said.
3. Driving. I love driving. I especially love freeway driving. This makes me really excited to move to the country where it takes twenty minutes to get anywhere. Double exciting because its the country. Also, my sister was telling me the other day that it snowed a teensy bit and it wasn't even sticking to the ground and people didn't know how to drive in the snow and were going three miles an hour type thing. I understand that this could be a drawback, a dangerous one. But as I just drove through the canyon on a slippery, icy road while the wind was doing its best to blow me off the road and I didn't even slide, I am kind of excited to see people who don't know how. Because I am in a super smug mood, that's why.
Also, weekend beach outing. I am coming and you're not gonna know what hit you.
Fair warning, east coast.
2. I will have children to make my soul happy. As frustrating as it can sometimes be, even a screaming child fighting to get away from me is like soul medicine. Emma is somehow just as wonderful when she is shrieking at you while you try to wipe the food out of her eyebrows as she is when she does her little head bob and plays hide and seek. Also, sleepovers in the castle bed. Nuff said.
3. Driving. I love driving. I especially love freeway driving. This makes me really excited to move to the country where it takes twenty minutes to get anywhere. Double exciting because its the country. Also, my sister was telling me the other day that it snowed a teensy bit and it wasn't even sticking to the ground and people didn't know how to drive in the snow and were going three miles an hour type thing. I understand that this could be a drawback, a dangerous one. But as I just drove through the canyon on a slippery, icy road while the wind was doing its best to blow me off the road and I didn't even slide, I am kind of excited to see people who don't know how. Because I am in a super smug mood, that's why.
Also, weekend beach outing. I am coming and you're not gonna know what hit you.
Fair warning, east coast.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Penetrating the Bureaucracy
Thanks to teensy short men voiced by the Sicilian dude from Princess Bride, this is a difficult task. I have spent a bunch of my morning attempting to penetrate the bureaucracy of Utah State University as well as Durham Tech. I have not been successful as of yet, because:
1. Apparently, the goal of Durham Tech is to ensure that it is as difficult as possible to speak to a person.
2. Utah State has complicated and technical requirements for residency. These requirements are not the same when you talk to the person in the admissions office as when you look on the website. Sometimes, they aren't even consistent on the website.
3. The lady at the registrar's office lied when she said there was a place on the website where I can compare class content between USU and other institutions and check to make sure they are transferable. Such a place exists for institutions within the state of Utah, but not outside it. An application to transfer back to USU does me no good this side of the adventure.
This is slightly more difficult than I had anticipated. But it's okay, cause I can figure stuff out. Every time I start to feel overwhelmed, I say to myself, "Self! Quitting is for quitters."
This motto is brilliant in its 'captain obvious' kind of way, don't you think?
So anyway, that is my life. Hope yours is as awesome!
1. Apparently, the goal of Durham Tech is to ensure that it is as difficult as possible to speak to a person.
2. Utah State has complicated and technical requirements for residency. These requirements are not the same when you talk to the person in the admissions office as when you look on the website. Sometimes, they aren't even consistent on the website.
3. The lady at the registrar's office lied when she said there was a place on the website where I can compare class content between USU and other institutions and check to make sure they are transferable. Such a place exists for institutions within the state of Utah, but not outside it. An application to transfer back to USU does me no good this side of the adventure.
This is slightly more difficult than I had anticipated. But it's okay, cause I can figure stuff out. Every time I start to feel overwhelmed, I say to myself, "Self! Quitting is for quitters."
This motto is brilliant in its 'captain obvious' kind of way, don't you think?
So anyway, that is my life. Hope yours is as awesome!
Nicknames mean something
I was reminded of the beautiful significance of nicknames the other day when I was talking to my friend Gina (Hotlips) and she told me that she named her new car after me. (so freaking happy!) The car's name is Stella, taken from my movie nickname. (That's right. I am the skunk from Over the Hedge. Everyone ahem alex laugh your laugh).
Ninety percent of the people in my life have at least one nickname for me. I can't remember all the things I have been called at this point, but I answer to a lot of stuff. Some are endearing and nostalgic, and a select few make me kind of angry, but all in all, they describe me pretty well, even the ones I don't like very much. And I really like nicknames, because of the way they define and describe the relationships I have. But even better than individual nicknames, I really like group nicknames. A prime example of this fabulous thing is Papa Murphy's.
There in pizzaland, we have multiple sets of group nicknames. The first originated in what we fondly call "the mash days", which was way back when like three years ago when I worked there in high school and everybody else went to Murray High School and I was the odd one out with my Warriorness. We all had a name from MASH, which somehow perfectly described the group dynamic.
The coolest people ever are as follows:
Hawkeye: Everybody's favorite talented doctor. In this case, Christian was the ringleader and also the fastest sauce and cheeser. He was in charge of naming everybody else, and also the mastermind of the pranking. There was a lot of pranking.
BJ: Rusty. The goofy one who plays along with the pranks and is likeable in general.
Trapper: Alex. The one who is kind of annoying at times, but wins over respect anyway because of his brilliant pranking skills and quick witted humor.
Spearthrower: Curtis. The best friend who used to work there and some of the old hardcore workers even remember him.
Charles: Me. The one who is sort of the outsider but oddly seems to fit in both groups anyway. Both pranks and is pranked. English accent.
Hotlips: Gina. The one who is really good at her job which attracts some flack from all the other ones. Always pranked.
Henry: Kevin. The bossman. ( He wanted to call me Radar. so complimentary!)
Thank goodness we didn't have a Frank.
I love the concept of names that describe a personality or a relationship or a group dynamic. I love the evolution of such things, and how the same nickname can have different connotation from different people. Like how my brother's friend Dallas used to call me Amelia Bedelia and it made me really mad, but here ten years later, my friend Josh calls me Amelia Bedelia and I am rather fond of it. Or how my niece doesn't even call me by name anymore; I walk in a room and she shouts "Little!", and no one else in the world would do that. Or how Nate and I are Lucy and Ethel but we don't remember who is who so Lucy is whoever is leading the escapades and the one questioning the wisdom of our current course of action is Ethel.
Once upon a time in my Religious Studies class, we learned about different definitions of religion. And the only one I can remember is " a tool for orienting oneself in the universe." If this is true, I suppose I love nicknames in a quasi-religious manner, cause I think that is what they do for me.
Insane? sure. I'll own it.
Ninety percent of the people in my life have at least one nickname for me. I can't remember all the things I have been called at this point, but I answer to a lot of stuff. Some are endearing and nostalgic, and a select few make me kind of angry, but all in all, they describe me pretty well, even the ones I don't like very much. And I really like nicknames, because of the way they define and describe the relationships I have. But even better than individual nicknames, I really like group nicknames. A prime example of this fabulous thing is Papa Murphy's.
There in pizzaland, we have multiple sets of group nicknames. The first originated in what we fondly call "the mash days", which was way back when like three years ago when I worked there in high school and everybody else went to Murray High School and I was the odd one out with my Warriorness. We all had a name from MASH, which somehow perfectly described the group dynamic.
The coolest people ever are as follows:
Hawkeye: Everybody's favorite talented doctor. In this case, Christian was the ringleader and also the fastest sauce and cheeser. He was in charge of naming everybody else, and also the mastermind of the pranking. There was a lot of pranking.
BJ: Rusty. The goofy one who plays along with the pranks and is likeable in general.
Trapper: Alex. The one who is kind of annoying at times, but wins over respect anyway because of his brilliant pranking skills and quick witted humor.
Spearthrower: Curtis. The best friend who used to work there and some of the old hardcore workers even remember him.
Charles: Me. The one who is sort of the outsider but oddly seems to fit in both groups anyway. Both pranks and is pranked. English accent.
Hotlips: Gina. The one who is really good at her job which attracts some flack from all the other ones. Always pranked.
Henry: Kevin. The bossman. ( He wanted to call me Radar. so complimentary!)
Thank goodness we didn't have a Frank.
I love the concept of names that describe a personality or a relationship or a group dynamic. I love the evolution of such things, and how the same nickname can have different connotation from different people. Like how my brother's friend Dallas used to call me Amelia Bedelia and it made me really mad, but here ten years later, my friend Josh calls me Amelia Bedelia and I am rather fond of it. Or how my niece doesn't even call me by name anymore; I walk in a room and she shouts "Little!", and no one else in the world would do that. Or how Nate and I are Lucy and Ethel but we don't remember who is who so Lucy is whoever is leading the escapades and the one questioning the wisdom of our current course of action is Ethel.
Once upon a time in my Religious Studies class, we learned about different definitions of religion. And the only one I can remember is " a tool for orienting oneself in the universe." If this is true, I suppose I love nicknames in a quasi-religious manner, cause I think that is what they do for me.
Insane? sure. I'll own it.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Concerning and/or Mildly amusing
You probably all know about Matthew by now. And if you don't it's time you do. I don't know how you are all still living and breathing without a small redhead to make you laugh so hard you shoot milk out your nose, but here's some nephew joy. I am spreading it all to the world like the benevolent giver of joy you all know me to be.*
This weekend, I got kind of annoyed with life in general and decided on a whim to pack my car and scurry on down to Headquarters for the long weekend in order to avoid a long weekend of snarkyness and the inevitable guilt I feel when I watch the office instead of going to the gym. And when I got here and walked in the door, I was greeted by a lovely mother and a little boy who ran to hug me and tell me he missed me. Tender, right? I know, but it gets better.
When Matthew's daddy brought him home to his mom, I was laying on her couch giggling about the absurdly awkward creation that is Breaking Dawn. And I guess he didn't know I was sleeping over cause he walked in the door and started yelling "Aunty! You're here!". And then he danced and clapped his hands and announced that he had lost another "toof". And we all got done admiring the toof and talking about how he wouldn't be able to chew if he looses any more toofs, and then I noticed that there were little stains on his pocket. When asked about the little stains, Matthew coolly replied, "Don't worry. It is just the blood coming out." He followed this with a sincere apology to his mother about getting blood on his pants. Huh.
The next morning Matthew woke me up, and during that period when I pull a pillow over my head and mumble that I am not getting out of bed today( like the ray of sunshine I am in the morning), matthew decided to tell me a story about his imaginary friends, Humphrey and Kate. They are wolves and I think they came from a movie. Anyway, I sat up and listened when Matthew began telling me that Kate and Humphrey have been "concerning" him, and he is just really concerned. I asked of course, what was concerning him, specifically. And he said "Well, they have been looking at me weird. I don't want them to look at me."
Uh....how do you say?
So I mention this to Bekah later on and she says, " You know what? He told mom yesterday that she was mildly amusing."
And then I was hiding around a corner to scare him, and the attempt was successful, but I twisted my shoulder weird in the attempt and scraped my elbow on the wall. So Matthew is standing in the kitchen laughing hysterically cause I scared him and I am sitting on the stairs rubbing my shoulder. I tell him he should come kiss my arm better and he laughs harder, but walks straight over to me, stops laughing, looks me straight in the eye, and with the seriousness of an attorney, asks, "Which arm?"
Stunned surprise. "This one" He kisses it better.
"And here." Kisses elbow better. Walks away and starts laughing again, probably at something he is throwing in the air.
So there he is. Some other quotebookage from the weekend:
" Aunty, stop it, you goof! You goofball!"
" Well, if you do that, I am gonna lick you, obviously!"
" You are doing offense and I am doing defense! Ball's in your court!"
"Aunty, just stop doing the defense, and then I will be able to get ya!"
" I am offensing! Let me offense!"
He is obviously the coolest redheaded boy in the world. He uses advanced phrases and vocabulary and thinks it is not a big deal when blood gushes from his mouth.
* that is right. I am still slightly snarky, and that generally manifests itself in excessive sarcasm.
This weekend, I got kind of annoyed with life in general and decided on a whim to pack my car and scurry on down to Headquarters for the long weekend in order to avoid a long weekend of snarkyness and the inevitable guilt I feel when I watch the office instead of going to the gym. And when I got here and walked in the door, I was greeted by a lovely mother and a little boy who ran to hug me and tell me he missed me. Tender, right? I know, but it gets better.
When Matthew's daddy brought him home to his mom, I was laying on her couch giggling about the absurdly awkward creation that is Breaking Dawn. And I guess he didn't know I was sleeping over cause he walked in the door and started yelling "Aunty! You're here!". And then he danced and clapped his hands and announced that he had lost another "toof". And we all got done admiring the toof and talking about how he wouldn't be able to chew if he looses any more toofs, and then I noticed that there were little stains on his pocket. When asked about the little stains, Matthew coolly replied, "Don't worry. It is just the blood coming out." He followed this with a sincere apology to his mother about getting blood on his pants. Huh.
The next morning Matthew woke me up, and during that period when I pull a pillow over my head and mumble that I am not getting out of bed today( like the ray of sunshine I am in the morning), matthew decided to tell me a story about his imaginary friends, Humphrey and Kate. They are wolves and I think they came from a movie. Anyway, I sat up and listened when Matthew began telling me that Kate and Humphrey have been "concerning" him, and he is just really concerned. I asked of course, what was concerning him, specifically. And he said "Well, they have been looking at me weird. I don't want them to look at me."
Uh....how do you say?
So I mention this to Bekah later on and she says, " You know what? He told mom yesterday that she was mildly amusing."
And then I was hiding around a corner to scare him, and the attempt was successful, but I twisted my shoulder weird in the attempt and scraped my elbow on the wall. So Matthew is standing in the kitchen laughing hysterically cause I scared him and I am sitting on the stairs rubbing my shoulder. I tell him he should come kiss my arm better and he laughs harder, but walks straight over to me, stops laughing, looks me straight in the eye, and with the seriousness of an attorney, asks, "Which arm?"
Stunned surprise. "This one" He kisses it better.
"And here." Kisses elbow better. Walks away and starts laughing again, probably at something he is throwing in the air.
So there he is. Some other quotebookage from the weekend:
" Aunty, stop it, you goof! You goofball!"
" Well, if you do that, I am gonna lick you, obviously!"
" You are doing offense and I am doing defense! Ball's in your court!"
"Aunty, just stop doing the defense, and then I will be able to get ya!"
" I am offensing! Let me offense!"
He is obviously the coolest redheaded boy in the world. He uses advanced phrases and vocabulary and thinks it is not a big deal when blood gushes from his mouth.
* that is right. I am still slightly snarky, and that generally manifests itself in excessive sarcasm.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Bah Freaking Humbug
I hate money. I hate it. I am never ever again living with a bunch of people and putting the utilities in my name. You know why? Cause people are dumb, that's why, and somehow this area of dumbness ends up messing with my bank balances and I am not okay with it! I am an angsty snarky mess about it, too, in case you didn't notice.
Phew. Glad to get that off my chest. Happy Friday!
Phew. Glad to get that off my chest. Happy Friday!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Dear ( 2012 edition)
Stephanie,
you are kind of wonderful. I am very glad you were the recipient of this year's roommate curse.
Mom and Dad,
why the heck are you so nice to me? p.s. You've been married 34 years, and that makes you champions.
Fig Newtons,
I'm coming to live with you. Snap! sometimes I dream about it and wake up smiling.
Bekah,
We have the same theme song. I think we could be soul deep friends.
Matthew,
I love you more than air. For reals.
Cesar,
I put you in this time. Also, what does Idaho have that Utah doesn't have? We have potatoes here.
Justin,
You are the best dang gift giver.
Alex,
You moved away first, and it is my turn. Also, please bless your car can stop getting crunched!
Trents,
I still need more storytime.
Poser,
"I am calling you a flower, not a skank teenage skater." love you, sista.
Logan,
Stop blowing in my face. It is not polite.
Neverland,
Goodnight!
you are kind of wonderful. I am very glad you were the recipient of this year's roommate curse.
Mom and Dad,
why the heck are you so nice to me? p.s. You've been married 34 years, and that makes you champions.
Fig Newtons,
I'm coming to live with you. Snap! sometimes I dream about it and wake up smiling.
Bekah,
We have the same theme song. I think we could be soul deep friends.
Matthew,
I love you more than air. For reals.
Cesar,
I put you in this time. Also, what does Idaho have that Utah doesn't have? We have potatoes here.
Justin,
You are the best dang gift giver.
Alex,
You moved away first, and it is my turn. Also, please bless your car can stop getting crunched!
Trents,
I still need more storytime.
Poser,
"I am calling you a flower, not a skank teenage skater." love you, sista.
Logan,
Stop blowing in my face. It is not polite.
Neverland,
Goodnight!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Living the Dream!
So I am moving to North Carolina in August, right? And the plan is to pack my car as full as possible, and then drive there with my dad. This prospect is almost as exciting as the whole north carolina idea.
Here's why: I have always always wanted to take a roadtrip just with my dad. I loved roadtripping with him when I was little, but there is something about driving long distances with just one person, and dad, dad is a good roadtripper. He has spent time in most states in the continental U.S., and he has this amazing ability to know exactly where he is going in any location, and he knows all the cool spots to see.
He also likes to look at maps. So once upon a time when I was eight years old, dad was trying to teach me how to use maps, and we had been looking at an atlas that day. And we were having family home evening that night, and dad decided to teach us about the importance of setting goals. So he tells us it is our job to all write down a goal and put it on our wall and tell people about it so we would be accountable and stuff, right? I told Dad my goal was that someday when I was grown up and I had a car and it was my road trip and not me tagging along on his roadtrip, that I was going to take him to Schenectady, New York, just the two of us.
So Dad says: "Now, I'm being serious."
Not to be outdone, I replied "So am I. It is gonna happen."
I was a very determined eight year old.
Backstory: My whole life I didn't think dad really believed me, but I never forgot that I was taking dad on a roadtrip to that place I randomly, arbitrarily picked off a map because I thought the name was cool. I would periodically remind him of my goal, and it has become a sort of joke over the years. You all know my dad travels every other week for work, right? (that is why he has been to so many places) And he brings back really cool souvenirs, which you know if you read this thing regularly, because of this potential TMI post. So this one time, I came home on a Friday night. Dad goes over to his suitcase and tells me he has something for me. I am expecting this great, thoughtful thing that I will love and hang on my wall like usual, but he pulls out his camera. I was kind of confused until he showed me a picture he took of a sign announcing that he is entering Schenectady, NY. It was perhaps an irrational moment of pure joy, but it was real nonetheless.
Anyway. When I told my parents that I was probably going to move across the country, they were really nice and supportive and helped me plan the whole thing. The conversation went something like this:
"Dad, will my car make it to North Carolina, or should I fly and buy a new car when I get there?"
"It will be fine. I think I'll take some time off work and go with you.."
"For reals? You're going to roadtrip with me? Snap!"
"Well, I'm not letting you drive across the country by yourself."
The next conversation went something like this:
" So if we are driving across the country, just the two of us, and I am paying for it and you are tagging along, does that mean I should cross Schenectady off my bucket list and call it good? Or is that a cop out?"
"Oh, I'd say that counts."
And he told me it counts, but I was still worried that replacing Schenectady with North Carolina was a shameful cop-out, especially because the destination was utilitarian as opposed to for the heck of it, you know? And my dear dad who loves me decided that might be a cop out too.
So I showed up at HQ on Friday, and dad asks me if I have ideas about how I want to get there and what I want to see on the way to NC. And I sit down at the map and start spouting about going through Denver cause I love Denver and going to St. Louis because I always thought that I would puke if I went to the top of the arch and I want to see if I can do it without puking. (Cause I actually plan my life around these types of thought processes. judge as you will) And Dad says "Can I show you my plan?" Of course. He is the master of all wisdom. So dad is showing me that he wants to go see Council Bluffs and take this toll road cause it is pretty and hit Chicago and show me places from his mission and I am getting pretty excited, and then he starts tracing up along the great lakes and says we will go see Niagara Falls. And this is where I get really excited cause I have never been there, but I am also thinking that we are getting a little off course, right? And this is when dad traces his finger up near Albany and then:
" I thought we would land here", and stops his finger on none other than....
That's right, folks. I gasped and shrieked with joy. I am going to Schenectady, New York, with my father.
Be. Jealous.
According to dad, it is the same distance to Schenectady as it is to Hillsborough, so we might as well take one extra day and go cross that thing off the bucket list before we drive down the east coast and hit the real destination.
So this roadtripping thing is really happening. You know how lucky I am? I get to adventure across the country, and I have two really great supportive parents who are nice about their youngest child moving twenty five hundred miles away. I have a mom who asks me what is on the "roadtripping music list of joy" that is underway, and a dad who will be concerned about my tendency to get so carsick that I wish for death. He also plans things like what books we will read for two thousand miles and places he wants to show me from when he lived in Illinois thirty something years ago, and remembers the one random thing I wanted to do with him and makes a plan so that we can do it together even when I thought it wasn't really an option on this trip.
Snap, my parents are awesome. Schenectady is happening.
Here's why: I have always always wanted to take a roadtrip just with my dad. I loved roadtripping with him when I was little, but there is something about driving long distances with just one person, and dad, dad is a good roadtripper. He has spent time in most states in the continental U.S., and he has this amazing ability to know exactly where he is going in any location, and he knows all the cool spots to see.
He also likes to look at maps. So once upon a time when I was eight years old, dad was trying to teach me how to use maps, and we had been looking at an atlas that day. And we were having family home evening that night, and dad decided to teach us about the importance of setting goals. So he tells us it is our job to all write down a goal and put it on our wall and tell people about it so we would be accountable and stuff, right? I told Dad my goal was that someday when I was grown up and I had a car and it was my road trip and not me tagging along on his roadtrip, that I was going to take him to Schenectady, New York, just the two of us.
So Dad says: "Now, I'm being serious."
Not to be outdone, I replied "So am I. It is gonna happen."
I was a very determined eight year old.
Backstory: My whole life I didn't think dad really believed me, but I never forgot that I was taking dad on a roadtrip to that place I randomly, arbitrarily picked off a map because I thought the name was cool. I would periodically remind him of my goal, and it has become a sort of joke over the years. You all know my dad travels every other week for work, right? (that is why he has been to so many places) And he brings back really cool souvenirs, which you know if you read this thing regularly, because of this potential TMI post. So this one time, I came home on a Friday night. Dad goes over to his suitcase and tells me he has something for me. I am expecting this great, thoughtful thing that I will love and hang on my wall like usual, but he pulls out his camera. I was kind of confused until he showed me a picture he took of a sign announcing that he is entering Schenectady, NY. It was perhaps an irrational moment of pure joy, but it was real nonetheless.
Anyway. When I told my parents that I was probably going to move across the country, they were really nice and supportive and helped me plan the whole thing. The conversation went something like this:
"Dad, will my car make it to North Carolina, or should I fly and buy a new car when I get there?"
"It will be fine. I think I'll take some time off work and go with you.."
"For reals? You're going to roadtrip with me? Snap!"
"Well, I'm not letting you drive across the country by yourself."
The next conversation went something like this:
" So if we are driving across the country, just the two of us, and I am paying for it and you are tagging along, does that mean I should cross Schenectady off my bucket list and call it good? Or is that a cop out?"
"Oh, I'd say that counts."
And he told me it counts, but I was still worried that replacing Schenectady with North Carolina was a shameful cop-out, especially because the destination was utilitarian as opposed to for the heck of it, you know? And my dear dad who loves me decided that might be a cop out too.
So I showed up at HQ on Friday, and dad asks me if I have ideas about how I want to get there and what I want to see on the way to NC. And I sit down at the map and start spouting about going through Denver cause I love Denver and going to St. Louis because I always thought that I would puke if I went to the top of the arch and I want to see if I can do it without puking. (Cause I actually plan my life around these types of thought processes. judge as you will) And Dad says "Can I show you my plan?" Of course. He is the master of all wisdom. So dad is showing me that he wants to go see Council Bluffs and take this toll road cause it is pretty and hit Chicago and show me places from his mission and I am getting pretty excited, and then he starts tracing up along the great lakes and says we will go see Niagara Falls. And this is where I get really excited cause I have never been there, but I am also thinking that we are getting a little off course, right? And this is when dad traces his finger up near Albany and then:
" I thought we would land here", and stops his finger on none other than....
That's right, folks. I gasped and shrieked with joy. I am going to Schenectady, New York, with my father.
Be. Jealous.
According to dad, it is the same distance to Schenectady as it is to Hillsborough, so we might as well take one extra day and go cross that thing off the bucket list before we drive down the east coast and hit the real destination.
So this roadtripping thing is really happening. You know how lucky I am? I get to adventure across the country, and I have two really great supportive parents who are nice about their youngest child moving twenty five hundred miles away. I have a mom who asks me what is on the "roadtripping music list of joy" that is underway, and a dad who will be concerned about my tendency to get so carsick that I wish for death. He also plans things like what books we will read for two thousand miles and places he wants to show me from when he lived in Illinois thirty something years ago, and remembers the one random thing I wanted to do with him and makes a plan so that we can do it together even when I thought it wasn't really an option on this trip.
Snap, my parents are awesome. Schenectady is happening.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
I work in a place where everyone smiles and says "Good morning!"
So today, I was at work. And I was really exhausted and working with my friend Osanna who was also extremely exhausted, having woken up at four this morning. And that sounds like a long night of drudgery, right?
Wrong. Because:
- I hit my second wind. Osanna similarly was so tired she was hyper. Which resulted in some dancing and high fiving and singing and laughing until I couldn't breathe.
- Osanna lost her phone and Collin found it and tried all night to get her to buy it back from him, cause he is a punk like that, and he tries to look like it. Aka, Tara and I laughed hard when he put on his sweatpants but wore them about a foot lower than his waistline. No joke.
-During one of those times tonight ( yep. they were plural) when half the crew was all standing in one spot laughing at something Collin said, Osanna said, " I love working here! We are hilarious. Think about it, guys. Where else would you rather be right now?"
That statement may revolutionize how I feel about going to work. Cause when I though about it (whilst giggling pretty hard) I realized that there weren't a whole lot of places I'd rather be.
So, to finish off a post about how I got real lucky with my job, some quotebookage:
" I feel like Lindsay is always saying things like that and I try to answer like a normal person but I just end up sounding really Mormon."
" I have a story that is sort of innappropriate. Kay, it is straight-up innappropriate."
"I'm looking at Blake but I am thinking about Ingrid Michaelson."
" It's a miracle. The chicken multiplied itself!"
"Well, she told me a minute ago she was having an out of body experience."
"Goodnight, guys! Don't ever let Collin set you up on a date!"
Basically, I like my job. It is a place where I work and also play. We sing, we dance, we cartwheel. I have Tara and Gen who will laugh at my awkward stories and help me laugh at myself, and Collin who has always known more about my dating life than a supervisor should, who will make a game plan for my dating life so I can stop feeling stressed, and Osanna who will party with me, and Blake who will enable my love of books, and Scott who will tell me I rock twenty times a day, and Gary and Elise who will teach me how to flip pancakes, and Charlie who will always think my name is Emily and makes me scones, and Illuminda who brings joy into my soul with her air kisses and mothering.
I dish food and refill mayo bottles, and I don't even care.
"awesome saucesome!"
Wrong. Because:
- I hit my second wind. Osanna similarly was so tired she was hyper. Which resulted in some dancing and high fiving and singing and laughing until I couldn't breathe.
- Osanna lost her phone and Collin found it and tried all night to get her to buy it back from him, cause he is a punk like that, and he tries to look like it. Aka, Tara and I laughed hard when he put on his sweatpants but wore them about a foot lower than his waistline. No joke.
-During one of those times tonight ( yep. they were plural) when half the crew was all standing in one spot laughing at something Collin said, Osanna said, " I love working here! We are hilarious. Think about it, guys. Where else would you rather be right now?"
That statement may revolutionize how I feel about going to work. Cause when I though about it (whilst giggling pretty hard) I realized that there weren't a whole lot of places I'd rather be.
So, to finish off a post about how I got real lucky with my job, some quotebookage:
" I feel like Lindsay is always saying things like that and I try to answer like a normal person but I just end up sounding really Mormon."
" I have a story that is sort of innappropriate. Kay, it is straight-up innappropriate."
"I'm looking at Blake but I am thinking about Ingrid Michaelson."
" It's a miracle. The chicken multiplied itself!"
"Well, she told me a minute ago she was having an out of body experience."
"Goodnight, guys! Don't ever let Collin set you up on a date!"
Basically, I like my job. It is a place where I work and also play. We sing, we dance, we cartwheel. I have Tara and Gen who will laugh at my awkward stories and help me laugh at myself, and Collin who has always known more about my dating life than a supervisor should, who will make a game plan for my dating life so I can stop feeling stressed, and Osanna who will party with me, and Blake who will enable my love of books, and Scott who will tell me I rock twenty times a day, and Gary and Elise who will teach me how to flip pancakes, and Charlie who will always think my name is Emily and makes me scones, and Illuminda who brings joy into my soul with her air kisses and mothering.
I dish food and refill mayo bottles, and I don't even care.
"awesome saucesome!"
Monday, February 6, 2012
Hypothetically
If I had just laid in my car in the Walmart parking lot practicing Lamaze, and if I had bought the Pringles labeled "Darth Vader" just because I wanted to know what their interpretation of Darth Vader's flavor was, and if I was really disappointed because they were the original kind, and if I used beverages as a coping method for stress (sometimes juice and more often diet coke), what would that make me?
A. a female, possibly a PMSing one
B. a college student
C. addicted to caffeine
D. a raving total lunatic
E. all of the above
I don't even know. Probably dramatic would have fit in there too.
A. a female, possibly a PMSing one
B. a college student
C. addicted to caffeine
D. a raving total lunatic
E. all of the above
I don't even know. Probably dramatic would have fit in there too.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Katie Johnson, wait Rogers
She is one of my favorite people. She got married and is now living inside a swirling vortex of newlywed bliss, out of which she occasionally emerges. On those occasions, we go to the gym and then replace the calories with diet coke. I love her. I miss living with her and enabling each other's coke addiction, and watching The Bachelor on the marriage bed (I know mom. so so inappropriate, right?), and having dance parties with 90's music until Shane comes downstairs and tells us to shut up, and making Sunday dinner and losing her car in the parking lot, and just being dramatic together in general.
The world would be a better place if everybody had a Katie. That is all.
The world would be a better place if everybody had a Katie. That is all.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Codependency in Music form
Hi, everybody. I don't know if you've heard this song, which sounds like pure joy. You should listen to it, and smile, but simultaneously mourn for this individual, because this girl treats him like crap and he loves her still. We've all struggled with such things at some point, right?* You can find my own personal example here.
I love it. So often, I have felt exactly like this. (and by this I mean toxic relationship attitudes disguised quite believably as happiness.)
Story for why I have been thinking about it. On Tuesday my boss sang "Someone like you" at me every chance he got so it would stay in my head and annoy me, cause he tries to be obnoxious like that. And by the end of the night, I was singing this back really loud, and we sounded dissonant and bad in a kind of cringe-worthy music war using songs about unhealthy relationship attitudes.
Yep. We are five years old.
* I guess not everybody has felt like that. The subject came up once with my mother and went something like this:
"You've never loved somebody who was bad for you, mom?"
"No. If they were bad for me I didn't put up with it."
Oh, momma. If only such emotional clarity was genetic. What do you all think about loving things that are bad for you? Does everybody do it? Or was it just me? If anybody wants to chime in, that question was sincere and not rhetorical. Cause I am curious for reals.
Merry Valentine's month, internet.
I love it. So often, I have felt exactly like this. (and by this I mean toxic relationship attitudes disguised quite believably as happiness.)
Story for why I have been thinking about it. On Tuesday my boss sang "Someone like you" at me every chance he got so it would stay in my head and annoy me, cause he tries to be obnoxious like that. And by the end of the night, I was singing this back really loud, and we sounded dissonant and bad in a kind of cringe-worthy music war using songs about unhealthy relationship attitudes.
Yep. We are five years old.
* I guess not everybody has felt like that. The subject came up once with my mother and went something like this:
"You've never loved somebody who was bad for you, mom?"
"No. If they were bad for me I didn't put up with it."
Oh, momma. If only such emotional clarity was genetic. What do you all think about loving things that are bad for you? Does everybody do it? Or was it just me? If anybody wants to chime in, that question was sincere and not rhetorical. Cause I am curious for reals.
Merry Valentine's month, internet.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Happiness and an Announcement
All day I have been in a good mood. Like, an extremely good mood. (carpet sunshine and $100 penguins good. Everybody read Going to the Pool, cause Brogan inspires such happiness.) Such a good mood that Collin greeted me with a "Hi, Chipper", and goodbyed me with a " Stop skipping! I told you not to skip!", to which I replied, "I will skip all I want to! You can't make me be grumpy!"
See. Good day. I am a firm believer that one never needs a reason for happiness, only sadness. But I found a reason anyway when I realized that I have had at least minimal interaction with all of my siblings today. We are kind of scattered, and I don't remember the last time that happened. But I liked it. And I suppose now is as good a time as any to announce that talked to all my siblings in order to inform them that I have made a final decision, and that decision is to move to North Carolina in August. And now that the whole family knows, you can too, internet. Celebrate with me, please and thank you!
So I am moving to HIllsborough, NC to live with my sister Erin and her family for a while. I will be working and taking some classes at Durham Tech, and reading lots of bedtime stories to Libby, which is the consolation because I am not going to live in her room like she wanted. ( adorable, right?)
Also, I will have an excuse to talk like a southern person, which makes me giddy in a steel magnolias sort of way. Dang, my life is awesome.
See. Good day. I am a firm believer that one never needs a reason for happiness, only sadness. But I found a reason anyway when I realized that I have had at least minimal interaction with all of my siblings today. We are kind of scattered, and I don't remember the last time that happened. But I liked it. And I suppose now is as good a time as any to announce that talked to all my siblings in order to inform them that I have made a final decision, and that decision is to move to North Carolina in August. And now that the whole family knows, you can too, internet. Celebrate with me, please and thank you!
So I am moving to HIllsborough, NC to live with my sister Erin and her family for a while. I will be working and taking some classes at Durham Tech, and reading lots of bedtime stories to Libby, which is the consolation because I am not going to live in her room like she wanted. ( adorable, right?)
Also, I will have an excuse to talk like a southern person, which makes me giddy in a steel magnolias sort of way. Dang, my life is awesome.
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